We have all come across a pure and utter ‘jerk’ at some stage or another in our lives which has resulted in us swearing off men ‘forever’. True to form there are some slime-balls out there, but then again there are some true gems of men who would give their right arm to make you happy. So the question I pose is: How can you tell the difference between the good, the bad and the damn ugly? Well this is not always an easy task.
Many women like the thrill of the chase as much as men and also become disinterested once the first kiss and shy text have turned into awkward dates and drunken fumbles. But what happens when you feel yourself falling for someone who only texts you late on a night out, leaves you hanging, doesn’t ask you on a ‘real’ date and leers at other women when they walk by? This, my friend, is when you should call it quits. If your friends are not a fan then that is usually a tell-tale sign that your new beau is a bad-egg and that you should steer clear.
If your new fella seems overly confident then that could either indicate that he is a ladies’ man or insecure. The typical traits of the man you should truly avoid is usually an over-confident ‘lad’s lad’ that walks with a swagger, rolls sweet nothings off his tongue like there’s no tomorrow and likes to throw in boasts about his scoring techniques, how many shots he did last weekend and so forth. Another thing to be cautious about is if he claims he’s a ‘nice guy’, nice guys don’t have to say they’re nice guys. Similarly, if you get involved with someone who has a ‘reputation’ then there you go, they don’t have the label ‘player’ on them for no good reason and, although spiteful ex’s may want to stick the claw in, if you’re being told this left, right and centre then it’s best to listen up. If he does the ‘Justin Bobby’ and disappears for a few days without texting or ringing you, but reappears just in time for a Saturday night booty-call then there can be no excuses made, he is using you. Remember Audrina from The Hills? That topsy-turvy relationship had us all roaring at the TV sets as one train wreck after another exploded on-screen. If he is a smooth talker, flirts with other girls, never mentions you meeting his family and plays ‘mind games’ which allow him to blame his wrong-doings on you then all I can say ladies is to get the hell out.
I am not being a ‘man-basher’ and stating that you should not give people a chance. In fact, I am saying quite the opposite. There are many good men out there, you just need to recognize their potential and give them a chance. It is a common misconception that girls love ‘bad boys’, and perhaps in some ways it’s true, but not wholly. It has been suggested that if you’re consistently getting with people who treat you like muck it’s not because you’ve extremely bad luck, it’s because you’re devaluing yourself to the point where you accept this form of treatment. We have seen it time-and-again and it can happen for both men and women, but for the moment I am concentrating on the latter. Often the allowance of someone belittling you is due to a lack of self-worth and confidence. This cycle of ‘bad boys’ is a often a form of self-punishment which can be broken by believing you deserve to be treated better, both by yourself and your partner.
Don’t Hate the Game, Hate the Player!
By Amber Leigh Doyle
Read more from this author at http://amberleighdoyle.com/